so.
July 1, 2012 | 1:32 PM
So I decided to leave things as they are, and not concern myself with their welfare for a little while. Wilson, especially, because I know what I want, and it's not that. I am worried, like I said, but it's not my daiji to chap, so I wouldn't. Maybe in the future I would talk to ah ford, but I'm really comfortable with leaving this as it is right now. I'm surprised I'm so comfortable, in fact, but I haven't really sat down to think why exactly yet.
But when I went to look back at old files on my computer, I have diary notes in Word from 2005 I nearly forgot I had. Reminded myself of how amazing naive and stupid I could be 7 years ago. But I also saw in 2007 how I made the effort to keep in touch with Calvin, via emails he seldom replied, though he did call from Chicago quite often from time to time. I forgot that we were close, because gradually people just fade away from your lives I think. But reading them old notes and emails made me remember a lot about how important they were to my self-worth at 19, 20 years old, and how, unknowingly, they formed part of the force that pushed me back on my feet.
Leaves much to think about friendship, and how I actually maintain them.
velda.
